


The Phoenix and the Doe

by Augurey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canonical Character Death, During Canon, Epic Friendship, Friendship, Gen, Good Albus Dumbledore, I Made Myself Cry, Mentor Albus Dumbledore, Mentors, One of My Favorites, POV Albus Dumbledore, POV Severus Snape, Tragedy, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augurey/pseuds/Augurey
Summary: Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape - the phoenix and the doe This is their story. The story of friendship between two basically very lonely people who secretly meant much more to each other than they openly show. For Snape, the man who rescued him from Azkaban is the only person, besides Lily, who really matters to him. And Dumbledore, who recognizes in Snape his own fate around Grindelwald and Ariana, decides to take him under his wing. A connection, marked by conflict and deep trust at the same time. Of a shared fate, a common mission and - a tragic end. (German fanfic translated with Deepl
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Severus Snape
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Der Phönix und die Hirschkuh](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2412788) by [Augurey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augurey/pseuds/Augurey). 



> Hello, nice of you to drop in. 
> 
> The phoenix and the doe - this fanfiction has a very special place in my heart. It is the first fanfiction I ever wrote in the Potterverse.(2012 - 2014) And until today one of the most epic ones at least in my opinion. There's an incredible amount of heart and soul in it and I hope that it will at least get across a little bit and you'll end up shedding tears just like I did when I wrote the last chapters. 
> 
> It is an attempt to reconstruct a possible story of the connection between Albus and Severus, which Rowling in the Canon only hinted at in highlights. I have tried to write down what I read between the lines - and that is quite a lot. A story full of tragedy.
> 
> Beginning: End of the first conversation after Lily's death in Snape's Memories  
> End: Dumledores death
> 
> I tried to write these fanfic as close to canon as possible and in character, whereas in character is a matter of interpretation. "My" Dumbledore is neither a stone-cold chess player nor a dear grandfather, but a person who makes wrong decisions with good intentions. And "my" Snape under the cynical facade is anything but "rickmanlike" cool and controlled. Canon means the main books - information from the movies, interviews, from Pottermore or from the additional books I only partly include.
> 
> Attention! The story starts with short chapters, but becomes more and more epic as it progresses. In the two years that I wrote this book, I developed very much as an author, and this is also reflected in the text.
> 
> Audio book (Note: German!)  
> Wow! Dear MariaSnape read the story as an audio book. I am so touched. Many, many thanks for your work and efforts to give this story a voice. You can listen to the book on her channel, where you can also find other fanfiction audio books, which are certainly worth a click. To the channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/jomova46/videos
> 
> Contentnote: Self injury (no scratching), substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, betrayal, psychological problems and much more. (You know the Canon)

  
"What... what should I do? Is he... here?"

The tear-stained, tortured voice softly came out between two thin lips. Through the windows, grey morning light fell into the circular room. A man with a long, white beard and hair shook his head.

"No, Harry Potter is in a safer place. His aunt will look after him for the time being."

"Petunia Evans?," asked the first and his black hair fell in front of his face.

He sounded neither pleased nor frightened. Rather a little surprised.

"Petunia Dursley," his counterpart corrected him, "she is married.

The man lowered his eyes, he seemed to be no longer interested in Mrs. Dursley's marital status.

"When...", he asked quietly. A sigh filled the room.

"That is the question. I hope not before the boy becomes a student here. But it is not possible to say exactly. We must expect it at any time."

The black-haired man narrowed his eyes and let his head sink into his hands. For a few seconds the old man stood still in front of him.

"Until then," he finally said and his voice sounded serious, "there are certainly other tasks for you at this school.

The black-haired man looked up in surprise.

"I... you... You are serious? ... I thought it was just a lie for the Dark Lord.

"My offer stands," replied the old man simply, "I hope you make a wise decision.

A few seconds of silence passed. The black-haired man did not move, he said nothing more.

"Is there anything else you would like to discuss with me now," the man with the white beard finally asked him.

"No...No...," replied the man with the white beard, visibly exhausted. "Well, I guess I'll see you again in a few days.

Silently, the black-haired man rose from his seat. His eyes were expressionless as he approached the door. "And another thing," the white-haired man called him back.

"Yes?".

"Get some rest. You really seem to need it. I hope to see you again in better shape. So long".

With a melancholy look, the black-haired man crossed the threshold.

"So long, sir".


	2. Broken Lilies (1981)

Yellow leaves covered the lawn down to the lake, withered like withered lily blossoms. A few boys argued on the way to the greenhouse. Severus Snape passed them wordlessly. Not even the teenagers, who were visibly getting on his nerves during his visits in the last two weeks, seemed to move him today. The shadow of events weighed too heavily on his shoulders. A single night had ended the war and the wizarding world celebrated, but above Hogwarts the gray November clouds hung low. Lily! Lily was dead! His Lily - dead! She and James Potter, the last victims of Voldemort after years of horror. And only the son had survived, survived because his mother had thrown herself protectively before him.

Severus Snape still could not believe it. Not even half an hour ago he was sitting in the principal's office to hear it from Dumbledore himself. And Dumbledore had confirmed it. James and Lily had put their trust in the wrong person, Dumbledore had explained to him, and so much more that Snape did not understand. That Voldemort would return, that Lily's son was in danger, that Dumbledore needed Severus' help, that this was his way forward if he really loved Lily.

Snape buzzed his head from all the words, he couldn't really listen. His grief was too strong, too overwhelming. Lily was dead - and it was all his fault! His own goddamn fault. How could he ever be so blind, how could he ever join the Dark Lord, deliver this cursed prophecy to him?

Severus settled on a large stone on the shore of the lake, over which the wind whipped restless waves. He tore up the sleeve of his cloak and furiously struck his arm with his fist, right at the spot where the hated Dark Mark had recently been burning. Not Lily was supposed to be dead, but he was. He should be lying in the graveyard in Godric's Hollow.

For a moment, Snape looked through his windblown hair at the turbulent water. He felt the need to throw himself into the flood right now. But that would not bring Lily back from the dead. Dumbledore was right. It would do no good.

Dumbledore! Dumbledore! He had trusted him, put himself in the greatest danger as his spy... ...and what happened? Dumbledore had failed. The only one he ever feared had failed! Just one week, one bloody week, Lily had been safe from Voldemort. Angrily, Snape threw a stone out onto the water.

One of her closest friends had betrayed her. Oh, if Snape ever got his hands on it, that traitor, he would kill him himself. And certainly not at the mercy of Avada Kedavra. Slowly and painfully he would let him die...

Absent-mindedly, Snape drew his wand and pointed it to the ground. Green leaves, stems, and a purple blossom sprang from the earth. A lily stretched its head into the cold November air. An icy wind blew across the grass. The flower collapsed, withered and was cold earth again.

Severus slapped his hands in front of his face. He could not, did not want to look at the lean remains. How should he then go on, how should he live on? Everything that had ever meant anything to him had collapsed. His home in Spinner's End was falling apart, Lord Voldemort had been a great lie, and the only person he had ever loved was dead. Nothing left in Severus' life had any frame, any order, any meaning. He felt as if he were drifting like one of Hagrid's old boats on the troubled sea - without a ferryman, aimless and rotten. Only a single faint light shone in the distant fog on the horizon: "Help me protect Lily's son,

_"Help me protect Lily's son."_

The words echoed a thousand times in his head. He was all that remained of Lily. The boy of that hideous Potter, his arch-enemy. This child - the reason why Voldemort had murdered Lily in the first place! And Dumbledore wanted him to protect him. Him, of all people. He would, yes he would, just for Lily's sake, it was the only thing he could do for her now, even if Severus' still couldn't believe that he had given Dumbledore his word.

Dumbledore... for a moment Snape paused and breathed deeply. What would he be without Dumbledore? As difficult as his expectations seemed to be to fulfill, Dumbledore was like the last silken thread that bound Severus to life. He remembered that night on the hill, less than two weeks ago, and yet it seemed to Severus as if a hundred years had passed since then. He remembered his fear of death, and how miserable and small he had felt when Dumbledore called him disgusting. And yet the old man had finally believed him, had made him his spy, had just offered to return to Hogwarts to become a teacher here.

That someone wanted to give Severus' another chance after all that had happened seemed as impossible as it was undeserved. Certainly, he did not like the tasks Dumbledore imposed on him. Spy and teacher, neither a dream job. But could he even refuse this offer? Where would he go? Outside these walls, there was no life for him. And no one who cared for him. Everyone he had ever called a friend had been a Death Eater like him. Dumbledore was his only hope, the only light that shone over his dark path. Severus only hoped that the old wizard would keep his word. Nothing was more unbearable than the idea that someone might know about the whole story. James Potter's son.

An icy cold gust of wind made Snape shiver. For a moment he longed back to the warm, circular room, back to the ice-blue eyes with the penetrating gaze. He got up, turned around to the castle, looked up at Dumbledore's office. Severus suddenly thought he saw a shadow behind the windows ...


End file.
